|||
Standup comedy is weird because you’re telling jokes to people who are essentially your bosses.
Standup comedy is weird because it’s like inviting people into your house, telling them you’re an idiot, and then they give you money.
Standup comedy is weird because you’re telling jokes to a bunch of strangers, and if they don’t laugh, you’re just stuck there awkwardly staring at them.
Standup comedy is weird because sometimes you’re performing in a nice theater and sometimes you’re performing in a bar next to a broken toilet.
Standup comedy is hard because you have to make people laugh, but you can’t make them too happy.
If you ever die in a fire, that’s not the worst way to go, because you could become a legend in the comedy community.
If you ever die in a plane crash, you better hope the plane crashes in the woods, or else you could become a legend in the comedy community.
If you ever get hit by a train, you better hope the train is full of clowns, because otherwise you’re just another dead body to be mourned by your loved ones.
If you die in a school, a lot of kids will have a funny anecdote about you.
If you’re a black comedian and you die, racism is going to be a part of your obituary.
If you’re a comedian and you’re afraid to die, you’re just afraid of becoming a legend.