10:22:48

last night I asked the bartender if I could keep the pen he gave me to sign the receipt. And he said "yeah I don't care" ♥️♥️ https://t.co/bdrLmFmUtP

image from twitter

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10:41:51

the backstory here is, i used to steal every pen i could (as part of a magical contract) but my gf used to be a server and she gets so mad when people steal the pen. so i'm in a quandary. now i have a new strategy

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11:38:26

he chose violence 😨 https://t.co/TmGNqvYSfG

image from twitter

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12:15:42

i support the troops https://t.co/uol0ALQfOB

image from twitter

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13:23:32

We're canceling each other over memes today. send me your most cancelable meme

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14:23:31

Boyyys, dooon't, cryyy *gayest music you've ever heard plays*

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14:32:40

me at vibecamp https://t.co/Yd7HEwX1CO

image from twitter

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15:28:49

interesting data analysis of which tweets this person saw and whether they were from people they follow https://t.co/95oxsRTBcS

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16:09:16

Who remembers this album https://t.co/j1MV5VQgDS

image from twitter

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17:06:07

what's the best fruit and why is it 🍋

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17:12:19

too many groupchats, i am defintly going to fuck up and send the wrong thing one of these days

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17:41:36

The retail urge to respond to "Thank you" with "Thank YOU"

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18:15:43

when the teacher doesn't want you reading ahead

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18:19:17

This is wild I need more like this

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19:19:48

If I have a short list of companies I want to work for, but not a great resume, what should i do? just start DMing CEOs or what

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21:00:05

please stop advising me to do a cover letter, i need to be Different

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