12:50:01

(it's smack)

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13:16:11

I parted my hair to the side after showering and it I hate to say it but it still looks pretty good. maybe I'm just going to have to be cheugy

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13:24:45

Comedians are not afraid they're going to be slapped in the face. To be a comedian is to invite worse punishment every night. What they're afraid of is that their being slapped in the face will be funnier than their jokes

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15:50:01

This is me

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18:22:30

this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. if this was real i would have one just to bother everyone

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18:26:45

i would make my phone scroll Twitter with its finger while i watch

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20:04:02

the postman never dies twice

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23:53:19

That sad feeling when you think The sunburn turned into a tan but then you wash your face and it peels away to reveal more sunburn underneath

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23:58:00

feel like some of you need to hear this

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