09:01:20

I've been using this curly hair washing method where you put a bunch of gel in it while it's wet? So that it doesn't frizz out. but two days ago I forgot to do the gel, and now looks like I have fiberglass insulation on my head

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09:11:57

what's the tea, everybody

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09:21:38

omh whoa

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09:32:40

lot of men go their whole lives without ever seeing one of these. smh https://t.co/SPmwALiml1

image from twitter

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09:38:53

It seems unfair that they can raise the price of the shorts by $5 while they're still in my shopping cart. I mean they've been in my card for like a week and a half but still

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09:50:31

if you're wondering what my accent sounds like, I have tried to type the words "and gel" like a dozen times this morning with voice to text, and every single time it came out "in jail"

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10:06:08

jackass meetups. it's the new thing

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10:06:33

me too ๐Ÿ™ƒ

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10:09:40

This whole time I thought the guy was called "bronze age pervert" cuz he had like a fetish for the Golden girls

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10:11:56

these are not friends. This is called tolerating people

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11:18:00

This is brilliant engagement bait. You can just put any political compass over a map of the US or Europe and start an international incident in you mentions

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11:30:30

if the United States were to start fracturing into smaller nations, where do you think the battle lines would be drawn? Like I know Texas would try to come take New Mexico, and they would probably get the Pecos but they would not get the Rio Grande. and we would join California

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11:38:47

Texas will get Oklahoma and probably Kansas. I imagine Kansas City becomes highly contested territory between Texas and Chicago? https://t.co/iPhncbrsZI

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11:42:29

major players here, imo (clockwise from top left): Cascadia Deseret Chicago New York New England Washington Miami Deep South Texas Rockies California

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12:03:56

new weird sun dropped

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12:17:58

prove me wrong. you can't. checkmate (praise God! ๐Ÿ˜˜โœŒ๏ธ) https://t.co/QsvaXOBNG4

image from twitter

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12:20:18

if you're not familiar with the United States, here's a map https://t.co/rzJqxRpvxD

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12:34:07

That's right, I'm a influencer on Catholic Twitter now https://t.co/WIqcVXEsHm

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12:39:02

People don't like it when you are openly religious and they aren't. it's because they're uncomfortable with you being attached to an invisible being that watches over you and influences things in your favor. perfectly normal reaction

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12:49:12

https://t.co/d8fXMAOG8B

image from twitter

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12:52:52

important view https://t.co/xdGD0NHXrQ

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12:53:23

experiment 1 https://t.co/H9V9gSobtS

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12:54:55

if god did not exist, it would be necessary to create one

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12:57:51

i am going to become the ๐—ป๐—ถ๐˜… ๐˜‚๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฟ

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15:47:03

meme search detritus https://t.co/uQXzBMlyaU

image from twitter

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16:51:38

โœ…continuous integration tests are passing โœ…corrupt images will be ignored โœ…CPU-only search โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ memery 0.0.8 is HOT โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ https://t.co/2r0gZBhGaB

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17:04:51

โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ

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17:59:52

Tell me you're hot, without telling me you're hot

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18:06:04

maybe at the drugstore as if I need a black bag for my condoms. I'm like why? People can't see what size they are from a distance

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19:23:28

to everyone who told me "no": Good job. That's a medium hot answer

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19:27:11

_____ _____ summer fill in the blanks. what kind of summer u gonna have

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19:28:45

what does my profile picture make you think of? Like what impressions would you have of me

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19:31:18

gf has never seen any clips of James Corden. she's so lucky. she doesn't understand and she won't until she's ruined this for herself

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19:32:15

finally. A church for me

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19:37:44

gf choice is "comfy girl summer" I'm still working on mine

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19:38:41

This tweet made no sense because I wrote it while I was driving

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22:31:51

the Daoist that can be called the Daoist is not the true Daoist

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22:42:26

https://t.co/lHXDd8wOId

image from twitter

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