09:03:41

the other 10 are Chuang Tzu dreaming

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10:20:49

it's funny, I grew up among all these progressive punk anarchist radical people, and I believed in their whole spiel. until I started trying to listen to Christian hip-hop. (which is better than punk music, on a musical level) suddenly all the tolerance went out the window

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10:30:33

it wasn't even Christian hip-hop like how there's like a Christian metal scene. just regular hip hop, mainstream shit. and all of these tolerant white West Coast punks couldn't handle it. I don't know which way they were more afraid of, hearing the n word or hearing the big JC

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10:32:22

One time I put on Chance the rapper at the wilderness commune. some Geico Neanderthal looking hippie came in and demanded to know why Lil Wayne was playing

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10:36:18

stop taking your fucking shopping cart back to the store. Don't even put it in that little corral thing. You got to leave shopping carts all over the parking lot. the best part of working at a grocery store is collecting shopping carts, alone, in the parking lot. don't fuck it up

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10:41:20

People on here should spend more time writing their own post-it notes and less time obsessing on the small post-it notes written by others

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12:12:30

this is not an April fool's joke. you should also stop bussing your own table at restaurants. one day they're gonna take all the bussers out back and shoot them

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12:32:07

what if the real bodhisattva move is to recognize that everyone is on their own path to enlightenment and you can't speed it up at all

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12:33:37

it's so sweet when one of my friends tries to tell me about stuff that happened in the news. I'm like oh sweetheart. I'm on Twitter. I saw this 5 days ago

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12:46:16

please don't accuse me of making pure semantic arguments. just because you don't know what I'm saying, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm saying. if you know what I mean

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13:22:04

who was the last person you saw in public who didn't seem to be using their phone?

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13:43:12

why are so many people eager to do work for free? You probably all think that the self-service line makes it easier to check out

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13:49:54

disclaimer Cohen I don't work at a grocery store. but I work next to one, and the people in the parking lot are definitely taking their sweet time and smoking a cigarette and checken there snapchats and whatnot

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13:57:49

Not believing anyone's tweets today. Not till tomorrow

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14:00:19

bring back the niche book club publisher https://t.co/AmqEuRwQgL

image from twitter

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14:21:57

i am highly underrated

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14:23:46

My star is on its way up

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14:23:56

I will never be milkshake ducked

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14:24:28

I think I can safely say you'll get a thousand percent return on all of the attention you give to me. I know that's outlandish but the market has just not priced me in yet

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14:26:21

i have the stamina and the willpower. i am a 100K follower account trapped in a 1K follower account's account

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15:02:22

Good things are happening to me. I'm going to go get a vaccine right now

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15:05:00

The fact that philosophy Twitter is having a kerfuffle about the Chinese room experiment on April fool's Day is a psyop

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15:40:02

I've somehow ended up at the drive-thru vaccination site. This is the most American I've ever felt

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15:50:29

I got the shot. im becoming Modernaized

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15:55:13

You have to wait 15 minutes for this to kick in, which means I'm just watching all of Albuquerque walk into a white tent looking anxious and then slightly less anxious once they come out

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15:55:27

oh except the ones who are driving into a tent

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16:00:58

The parking lot director guys just yelling "vaccine?" or "exit?" but in neomexicano accent so they sound the same imagine everyone in New York hailing a taxi. That's what it sounds like out here

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23:20:55

So apparently I have been sitting outside in the cold for hours? hyperfocus is a hell of a thing

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23:24:15

https://t.co/bk9iGyfueu

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