I have reason to believe this story is 100% true. The ending will shock you.
In January of this year, after finishing Luminosity by Alicorn, I decided to write a Twilight fan-fiction with SBF (of FTX) as a main character. In place of Bella ending Edward's century-long quest for a wife and consummating the Cullen family romantically, SBF would be their quant. I personally love the Twilight franchise and am an eager student of financial fraud history. (Lying for Money by Dan Davies is an incredible book I'm reading through now about fraud, highly reccomend!). I couldn't imagine a better time than combining my twin interests.
One attribute about Twilight that makes it particularly well-suited to fraud-themed fanfiction is that its vampires sometimes have their own special psychic powers, and cleverly using superpowers to defraud the market sure sounds like a JaneStreet interview question, so I felt an obvious bridge between the two worlds could emerge in fan-fiction. Suppose that Carlisle wanted to use Edward's powers of telepathy and Alice's powers of prescience to get rich – he'd need a quant to accomplish this, and naturally would think to recruit SBF from JaneStreet (this story takes place prior to FTX's founding).
But, in my imagination, this requires turning SBF into a vampire, both at his request and to quell Jasper's thirst for human blood so SBF can focus on work instead of batting off a starving vampire. All goes wrong when SBF emerges with his own power. Traditionally, vampirization extends or amplifies one's personality traits into psychic powers. SBF was known to compose balance sheets more explosive than dynamite without anyone batting an eye, and even explain his misdeeds over groupchats called "wirefraud" with no one nervously chewing a lip. SBF's power as a vampire would no doubt be a preternatural ability to make others ignore red flags and other blaring alarms. His vampire self could now even tweet about trading on customer assets and have not a single financial analyst question his statements. My fanfic would answer my greatest question in life – what would pre-FTX SBF do as a vampire? Let me avoid spoiling my plans by saying: hilarity ensues!
Having written fan fiction on such figures before (e.g. Andrew Huberman), I felt a little uncomfortable embarking on a book-length project without the permission or at least knowledge of its subject. I would have to write to SBF himself to proceed, and so I addressed an envelope to jail and penned him my thoughts. I wanted to know so much: how was prison treating him? Was his food situation still bleak? I hoped a little fan mail would spark his spirit...
Time went by. Every evening after school I checked my mailbox for months, my fingers tingling with anticipation that *tonight might be the night*, but alas it never was...
Come the middle of May, nearly half a year later, I open my LinkedIn app to see a connection request... The man himself! I accepted and DM'd him eagerly, but no discourse on Twilight has ensued. I've attached the letter I sent him, I hope this gets to him...
If you're reading this Sam, I'd love to chat!— @ishaan.delve.town October 4, 2026
